I Sing

I sing the tune atonal
The screech of metal twisting and snapping underscores a throbbing lub-dub
It counterposes the scrape of uneven sand and salt and sin
Flesh is woven into elastic strands plucked on charnel house harps
A choir hums and howls a melody familiar yet foreign
Beastly voices crescendo in frightened orgasm and peak beyond all audible sound
Blood rises and falls, a tide of carmine frothing the beach where bones bleach bare
A sun blackens and crisps like leaves in the flame, light pulsing and receding like a fading life
Night descends and does not return
I sing the tune atonal as the world gasps finality

I sing the tune unpleasant
Red and bleak and hatred like pollution in the veins
The shiver of discomfort that presages the surge of pain before all goes dark
The reek of hot fat bursting from the unlucky and the unwary
The bile on the lips of the biting, braying masses whipped to frenzy by lies and righteousness
It echoes the thud of meat and bone colliding in love and lust and angry entitlement
It twists the tongue and splits the teeth with ugly words unneeded and painful, rail spikes to the core of being
It hurts and hurts and hurts
Strain and agony, bosom friends, partners in sound
I sing the tune unpleasant and it sours in my mouth, ashen and acidic

I sing the tune chthonic
A muffled groan from beneath rumbles and strains
Unhallowed tombs of stone and sour air choke sound to nothing
Lanterns’ life snuffed by pitch-dark stillness
A silent, aching pressure, fastened tight to a heart straining against its bonds
There sits row upon endless row of those who were and then became not
No monsters here save those we manifest with our collective anxiety
It sits and waits, a maw patient and eternal, ever fed
It is heard by too many yet never enough
I sing the tune chthonic and scales fall that I may see the sun once more
 
I sing the tune of tumult
A tumbling, clashing, grinding noise that clatters and echoes in the silent hereafter
It belches forth in cacophonous screams, ancient bats hunting forbidden prey
A hunger nested in the sounds within sounds, the primality within all beings living and not
It tears the throat and cleaves reason in two
There should be peace in-between but space is not given
No quarter, no relief
Only cowardly music filling emptiness unabated
Only the overwhelming voice of all
I sing the tune of tumult and walls fall in the face of sonic abuse
 
I sing the tune chaotic
The roiling purple foam that wears away mountains
The drunk and ugly slurs of one who knows too much
It tosses, turns, and upsets the order of things yet allows no recovery
It barks and hisses, warning lights flashing, no anchor attached
Whirlpools consuming those who stray, pulling them to the end and drowning their corpses
It dances without rhythm, a beat all its own fueling its arrogant pasodoble
To make sense is to commit harm to nature
Dust to ashes and back again, a cycle unending
I sing the tune chaotic and watch the oceans boil
 
I sing the tune depressing
The sludge and sickly sticky grime
The swirling pool of dark and gruesome thought
The small body in winter that breathes its last steam into an uncaring sleet
It wraps around the throat and cinches tight, a noose of ideas born of malfunction
Rain-slick and cold, it burrows into the skin and muscle
A solitary sob in the middle of the night to split the silence
It consumes, an all-powerful hunger with endless capacity
The burst of a gasp tears through the mire before ichorous tendrils wrap and retrieve their prey
I sing the tune depressing yet only blind despair knits together in chords

I sing the tune unyielding
A crash of waves against a stony façade, wearing away slow and sure but permanent
The grit and detritus spattering the face, smearing the makeup of the performance
Stubborn continuance regardless of consequence or drive
It will not shift, the object immobile, and will ignore all reason and rhyme the world provides
It will not bend, it will not allow breath to earn an inch of respite
There is no future but that which it demands and holds with a grip of welded iron
No room to grow, no room to evolve
It shall not become other than what it insists it is
I sing the tune unyielding and weariness consumes all in its hunger

I sing the tune desirous
A white-hot knife to the core of humanity within
It surges with desperate need, no release to grasp
Solitude its prison, history the warden
The panting, foaming mouth finds no purchase
Images pour forth into the mind unbidden, dreams unmanifested
A torment of self-infliction borne on wings of that which should be shed
An albatross bound tightly around the neck
Pulling down to the abyss
I sing the tune desirous and receive no response but empty silence
 
I sing the tune grief-stricken
A ball of steel, cold and solid, sits in my windpipe and threatens to suffocate me
Heat blossoms behind my eyes, Noah’s flood beginning to crest
Dark silhouettes replace portraits of a future never to become
I choke and gag and the vice around my neck tightens, loosens, and falls into my stomach
It festers and rots, leaking bilious tears into my blood and brain
All paths converge in time, some speed to rest
Broken dolls repaired by a flawed carpenter, automatic yet damaged permanently
No escape, no relief
I sing the tune grief-stricken and feel it burrow to where it cannot be excised
 
I sing the tune acerbic
It bites and gnaws, a rabid dog in my words
A blade to part skin and muscle and the heart
Wicked wisdom and haughty hate
They find the vulnerability, the softness, and cut into it
Mangling the good and the fine to unidentifiable sadness
Scars are born and borne by experience
They will bleed and scab and bleed again
Some cuts go much deeper than the surface
I sing the tune acerbic and wish I could feel guilt within it
 
I sing the tune erotic
The sway and dip of bedded dancing
The carnal breathing filling the atmosphere of the darkened room
The whispered words too private to mention, more truthful than even wine can elicit
The silken touch of fingertips on shuddering skin
Lips and teeth and bleeding gouges signifying a job ably performed
Gentle snores from tangled hair and sodden sheets
Sleep dreamless and contented, thoughts drained
Half-awake pawing demolishes solitude and banishes the roiling depths
I sing the tune erotic and realize all too clearly how alone I am
 
I sing the tune exhausted
Muscles leached of all hope, demanding only rest
A mind worn thin, gossamer thread holding together a personality society-worthy
Temper like a shotgun, sharp reports tearing through innocuous inquiries
A world no longer wishing to be awake
The constant scrolling of information that inundates and overtakes milliliters at a time
None can endure and will ache and ache and ache
Generous rest must be claimed when it is available
Selfishness and selflessness may be two sides of a coin
I sing the tune exhausted and hope for a better day tomorrow
 
I sing the tune forgiving
We are all tired, all human
There are mistakes, errors, grievances that may poison our selves and our souls
Grace is not given, not received, but hoarded as a precious metal, unwilling to be shared
We fight ourselves, our better natures, our kindness and our hope
We talk ourselves out of redemption, even for those whom we despise or despise us
There is no battle that cannot, should not be fought, damn the rest
We throw ourselves against the wall, demanding it move, convinced of our rightness
Yet, when we may move, we stay steady as eternal stone
I sing the tune forgiving and see a tiny light flicker in the sky
 
I sing the tune resolving
The world may not be changed by one singular mind
My world may not be changed
Yet, I can try. I can try to push through the thick, rank fields of that which holds me back
I can and will reach out my hand to those grasping, going down for the third time
I will not, cannot seek to change the hearts of anyone – a task impossible, truly
I can only open my heart, give my kindness, share my gifts with those who wish to join me
I am dark and dreary inside, but that is not the entirety of me
It is not the entirety of you
I sing the tune resolving and take one step forward
 
I sing the tune triumphant
I shall always sing.