The October Music, Stanza 2 - Day 30

Temple of Love

            Are you lost? Unsure of your life? Bored with the grind, the rat race, the mundane? Are you looking for something different to make your life feel meaningful again? The Acacia Bay Church of the Ascended Lover has the answers!

            At ABCAL, you will find an atmosphere unlike any other holy site you can imagine. We don’t have hard, wooden pews – we have cushions, beds, and anything else you might find comfortable. We don’t have hymns or sermons – we have conversation and flirting. We don’t require suits, dresses, or your ‘Sunday Best’. Instead, we’re not only clothing optional, we’re clothing discouraged!

            Other places of worship demand constant attendance and donation of money. At ABCAL, we understand that life gets in the way and routines you don’t want to follow. Instead, we believe that every person has their own schedule and own ability to provide for their community. To ask for you to ignore those would be cruel. What we instead ask for donation-wise is not financial, but physical – your presence!

            In return, you are provided with a place to relax. To rest your body and your mind. To set aside the trappings and requirements of your daily life and of society as a whole. At ABCAL, we believe that every human is the captain of their own ship and being tied down legally and morally to one person is not the way to control your life. Rather, we believe that love should be shared, given freely to whomever wishes to indulge.

            When you visit ABCAL, you will be provided with your own personal usher who will serve every one of your needs. Your desires. They are trained and certified in all forms of therapy and healing and are licensed by [$%^&*(] to perform whatever acts they feel you need. Is there something your husband or wife simply won’t do for you, something you believe would soothe your heart and improve the quality of your life? All you need do is ask and our trained sucins – an old Aramaic term for servant! – will provide.

            If you are in considerable distress, ABCAL even offers a comprehensive seven-step process in which we pinpoint your specific physical needs and fulfill them. The process is intense and intensive, yet all those who have gone through it can and will attest to feeling lighter, as if they have let go of something they were holding on to. Something they were not using. Something they will not miss.

            At The Acacia Bay Church of the Ascended Lover, we truly believe that the best service is servicing and being serviced by others. We are dedicated to taking from you that which you no longer need while providing you the physical and emotional release you do. With our beautiful staff, comfortable location, and desire to meet whatever needs you may think of, there is no better place on Earth to free yourself from the life you think you have.
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            Take it from us – you will never want to leave!