The October Music, Stanza 2 - Day 31

Love Will Tear You Apart

            I’m lost. I know this. I knew it as soon as she walked in the door. I knew it as soon as she approached me with that hair the color of deep space, those eyes like embers, those lips blood-red and smirking with silent secrets, and that body that promised to extract mistake after glorious mistake from me. Her name was something ridiculous and fake, something like Raven Knight. She was playing a role but every single person in that room, regardless of gender, wanted to play her counterpart. For some reason, she chose me. I thought I was lucky. I don’t think I knew what luck meant.

            I still have the scars on my back from that first night together. Her fingers were like claws, tearing through my skin as I thrust into her. She moaned and howled into my ear and it spurred me on. When she released and clamped down on me, I blacked out. I thought it was the best sex possible. It was just a stress test.

            We have never taken even a step toward our intimacy being ‘gentle’. Chains and restraints and gags and wax and knives and choking…it’s been a buffet of dark delights and I’ve been here for it because, I mean, come on. If you get unrestricted access to Fort Knox, you have to try to get away with some gold, right? Otherwise, what are you even doing there? So, I’ve been game, even if it’s verged on a bit intense for my usual tastes.

            Recently, though, we’ve pushed past kinky into something more concerning. More frightening, if I’m being honest. She’s insisted on certain locations, places way out in the country, far away from prying eyes. She says it’s because she wants to scream as loud as she likes without people calling the police and, while that sounds flattering, she’s not said it with a cheeky smile. It's been downright serious.

            She’s also drawn blood. A lot of blood. I’d understand if, in the course of a frenzied session, an errant fingernail or tooth frees a bit of the claret, but the cuts I’ve experienced seem intentional. The wounds – yes, wounds, not just injuries – have been piling up and I’m finding it harder to not only get in and out of bed but to be ready to engage within the bed. Or what used to be the bed. Now it’s just a stone slab with candles around. I think she’s taking it a bit far with the gimmick.

            Here’s the part where I feel lost. She wants to bring someone else in which, normally, I would be all for except for the fact that she calls this man her ‘master’. She says he’s been with her since ‘the beginning’, which gives the whole thing a weird incestuous feeling. She wants us to meet, though. Says that he’s royalty in his homeland. A count or something. Who knows?

            Here’s my question: do you think it’s worth it?
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            I still kinda do.