The jokes get old quickly, of course. Hey, Alice, can you take me to Wonderland? Hey, Alice, can you show me your Cheshire Cat? Hey, Alice, are you on your Red Queen? The same tired quips by the same uninspired, witless, boring men and women. All of them are exhausting and there’s no recourse because, hey, they’re joking and you don’t want to be a ‘mad’ Hatter, do you? It’s almost enough to drive one to take drugs to go down that hole for real. It doesn’t happen, though, because why give them fodder?
It’s what happens next that’s so perplexing.
It’s waking up with a rabbit on your chest. Not one in a waistcoat with a pocket watch and monocle and an annoying look on what passes for its face. No, just a normal rabbit with white fur, long ears, and a twitching pink nose. Cautiously, you extend a hand and pet it and it’s soft and warm and the anger that surrounds your heart melts just a little.
You ignore the snark and jabs that come from when they find out you own a rabbit now. You don’t seem to care anymore. Your little buddy mellows you out, calms you down, and makes things seem smaller than they really are. You know something isn’t quite right about it – random rabbits out of nowhere should terrify you – but you simply can’t be bothered.
So, when the coworker that gives you the most grief and in ways that could be considered borderline harassment disappears, you think nothing of it. People disappear all the time. They have accidents or simply leave their jobs. It’s a natural part of life. Besides, he was enough of an ass that his presence missing from your workspace is a breath of fresh air. You can’t see anything wrong with it. When you get home, your rabbit friend is curled up, sleeping on the couch. He looks adorable and you could swear that he looks a little chunky. It’s just his fur, though. You’re sure of it and time goes on as usual.
Soon, though, there’s another disappearance and this time it’s a bit more concerning. This time it’s one of your friends from the office. She made a light-hearted joke about a Jabberwocky that was actually pretty funny and you laughed. She loves her job and has a good family, so her going missing is of real concern.
When you get home, you just want to curl up with your friend and worry, but he’s sleeping again. This time, you can tell that he’s not just fluffy. He looks almost swollen. You want to worry, but it doesn’t look like he’s sick or injured. It just looks like he’s eaten a big meal.
This is your life now. You try to ignore the obvious, but when a joke is made, the person disappears and your little buddy gets bigger and bigger.
It wouldn’t be so bad, you think, if he weren’t growing hands.
Here is where I''ll post random stories that aren't, as of yet, in a larger book. Call it a free ride into the mouth of madness, yo.